Fool in the mall

Last night after work J and I took a trip to our local big-ass mall so we could pick up a new hard drive and a couple of birthday presents, and so I could search for a pair of shoes I'm coveting (still trying to decide what color I want -- brown or tan.) 

As Rosie and I were hoofing it around the mall in search of the shoes, J was entertaining Mimi in Brookstone -- they have all sorts of fun toys there to keep 4 1/2 year old and 35 year old kids entertained.  J and I agreed that we'd meet back at Brookstone once I returned triumphant with the new shoes (or, as was the case, with head bowed in defeat and my current shoes giving me blisters from all the fruitless running around the mall.)

On my way into Brookstone, I spied something that I'd just read about yesterday on a new blog I've been skimming.  Now, you may or may not know that I'm a horse crazy gal.  Because of my disease and its impact on the bones, I haven't ridden regularly for several years, but I got my riding fix in CA when Amy was generous enough to let me hang with her and her amazing horses.  (Thanks again Amy -- xoxoxo!)  But you know how fixes are: when you are truly an addict, one "hit" gets you craving more.  So when I saw the iGallop, I knew I'd have to give it a shot.  It's not a real horse, but it's as close to riding as I'm liable to get in a crowded mall at 7:30 PM on a weeknight.

The machine itself looks innocuous enough -- kinda like a dressing table stool with an extra cushion on the top and a little handle in the front.  I hesitated momentarily before parking Rosie's stroller next to me and hopping on.

Might I just say that I should have watched the demo video before I decided to climb aboard this little machine at the entrance to the store, in the midst of one of the busiest shopping corridors in the mall?  Because that would have given me an idea of how ridiculous I must have looked:

(OK, so I didn't have the cowboy duds on, and I wasn't swinging my arms above my head...)  But I am sure I was making ridiculous moves, and that various... ahem... parts were bouncing up and down as I swung my virtual mount from a trot to a gallop.  Rosie was certainly getting a kick out of it, as were the passers-by in the mall corridor.  I watched several people suppress giggles and at least one young couple was openly staring at the jiggly spectacle before them.  And I could have sworn I heard one man snicker and say "Ride 'em cowgirl!" as he sauntered by.  I can only pray that no one had a video camera, lest I turn up on YouTube by this afternoon.

After a couple of minutes I switched off Trigger and slunk to the back of the store where J was waiting.  And guess what -- they had one of those damn things in the BACK of the store too. 

iGallop from Brookstone: $600.
The chance to be publicly humiliated at Northern Virginia's largest mall: priceless.

Comments

[Mr. MomMaamMe]

Let's just say I'd rather have one of these in our bedroom than a stripper pole!

[Mother]

Yeah. That looks like a sex toy to me.

[Kvetch]

Free fashion advice here. Go for the brown. I think it will work much longer into Fall and Winter. Of course, there's always that BOTH option.

[chilihead]

I was already ROFL, then I read Mr. MomMaamMe's comment and almost had a heart attack I was laughing so hard. Had to come back when I had composed myself just to comment. :D

[Waya]

OMG! That was hilarious! I'm sure your hubbie was yelling "giddy up cowgirl!" all the way home or was it in the bedroom? hee hee

[Waya]

OMG! That was hilarious! So, did your hubbie say "giddy up cowgirl" on the way home or in the bedroom last night? hee hee

[Dawn]

Why do I think I know what J will be buying Nancy for their next anniversary?

iGallop, and a cowgirl suit....

[TB]

OH my god. Nancy, if you could only have had J take a couple of pictures to post here. I mean if you already humiliated yourself...

[Jenny]

Hee! The post was like cake.

Love it!

[green3]

That's awesome. Good for you to get up there because I would never have the guts to do it. Oh and how funny you must have looked! Esp for those who didn't realize it was supposed to be a horse...

[kittenpie]

GiddyUP indeed, hey Mr. MMM? ;^)

I like the tan.

[Mrs. Chicky]

Will you wear the shoes if you buy that thing? I vote for tan as well. Sexy shoes to go with the new sex toy. :)

[Mayberry]

In addition to the hilarity of the bronco ride, the shoes are called "Three's Company"! I like them too, though. Brown.

[Jess R]

Do you need a license to ride that thing? LOL...I love it.

[Elizabeth]

HAhahahahaha! Um, I'm laughing with you, Nancy, WITH you. And at your husband's comment. You didn't happen to notice anyone standing nearby with a cameraphone aimed at you, did you? Checking YouTube might not be a bad idea :)

[something blue]

Cowboys, Cowgirls. Won't you come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon! (Oh yah that's lifted right from The Backyardigans.)

You gave those shoppers something to talk about!

As for the shoes, I'm leaning towards the brown. Cute!

[stefanierj]

Brown shoes. Definitely.

And Daddymatic saw the video and said he'd be willing to work out a timeshare on the thing if you don't want to pay the whole $600. Of course, the video is also making him give me the "can't we please please please have sex" eyes, so there you go. *sigh*

Please don't ever leave us, 'kay?

[krista]

Oh, that is hilarious. I have never ridden a horse. igallop you say?

Hmm...

[Becki]

That man who snickered was WISHING he was that igallop.

[mamatulip]

*snort* That's awesome. LOL.

[I Gallop On]

Nancy,

Check this out

Every Little Girl Wants a Pony

hah!

http://time.blogs.com/daily_dish/2006/08/every_little_gi.html

[mothergoosemouse]

J, you are hilarious! And Nancy, I bow down to you. Not only for giving that contraption a whirl, but for braving Tysons I on a weekend. You so crazay!

[oshee]

Good for you! I am glad you took the opportunity while you had it.

If you end up with one in your bedroom tho...let us know LOL

[halloweenlover]

Haaaa, I love it! You certainly are brave!